I haven’t printed and framed new photos of Alexander in a few years. I have so many framed photos, that I want to find the right balance between love and a shrine to his lost youth of having a father as a regular part of his life.
But this photo might be my favorite.
It’s a reminder that Alexander has my sense of humor, one of the best qualities a person can have, from my experience.
All other imperfections and personality deficiencies aside, I’ve always felt that making people laugh is one of the most important skills a person can have.
It’s not a defense mechanism. It’s a purposeful choice to bring a smile to someone’s face when your mind feels they need it.
Sometime a person isn’t quite themselves, and you take the time to listen, give your thoughts, show emotional intelligence.
But in the end, bringing a laugh and smile from someone in need of it, through comedy, can really help.
My son, despite what he’s been put through with parental alienation, is an extension of me, and he understands comedy.
He knows how to get a laugh. At least he did when with me.
I hope he never lets that go and it’s a characteristic of his personality that flourishes in life.
And for any other alienated parents, remember to be yourself.
Life might be complicated at times, but remember that life is a balance.
The world needs equilibrium.
No matter how difficult, it’s important to give as much love as you are hoping to get in return.
Give as much emotional support as you are looking to get.
And if the one task on your parental alienation lifestyle agenda is to make someone laugh, to smile, go for it!
Someone might be having a horrible day. And you never know if you are the influence that might bring the lone happy moment of someone’s day.
Say “please” and “thank you”.
Say “good morning”, “hello”.
Be friendly.
Put a smile on your face.
Make eye contact.
Tell a joke when it’s appropriate.
If it bombs, do “crowd work” and pivot.
Make people smile, make people laugh. Did yourself out of a hole.
Use your pain to help others daily.
The more proactive you are with putting this helpful energy into the world, the more likely you are to understand that you are able to receive it as well.
It’s there every day in your life, albeit friends or strangers.
A smile is worth a million dollars on a down day. To everyone.
And that’s where Alexander comes in.
He knows how much I love him. He knows when he sees me, it’s not the easy life…he needs to help cook, clean up after himself, be self sufficient as we won’t have a nanny to do everything with me. We are self-sufficient men for the practical, emotionally intelligent for the rest.
But we do it all together. And he’s smiling and laughing. Enjoying himself.
Because he’s going through so much as an alienated child, and he wants to enjoy every moment together.
He’s never thrown a tantrum with me.
He’s always happy with me.
He always smiles.
And when we are at a dog park with a sad or nervous dog, he focuses on bringing them happiness through love.
When we are out with people, he smiles and goes out of his way to make people laugh.
Alexander didn’t know I was taking this photo. He was having fun.
We all need a little fun and laughs throughout our days. Sometimes we do it intentionally. Sometimes we do it naturally.
Alexander does it on his own.
Not for me who desperately needs it.
He doesn’t know my pain.
He never will until he’s much older and learns English to read this.
But he will hopefully grow up with the ability to utilize his personality to choose a self-diffident future that makes him happy. Like I did.
But if he chooses to be a comedian, I’ll be his volunteer joke writer.
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